This I believe: to be understood is to be loved.  How many people will take the time to listen to you, yes, really listen beyond the "How ya doin'?"  "Fine, thank you."  For someone to take that kind of time and to exercise that kind of energy is an investment of oneself, a momentary, perhaps not so deep, sacrifice of their limited resources to spend on you.  That in and of itself is an act of love, small as it may be.

Then for that person to engage with your thoughts or situation, to connect them with his or her experience, knowledge, understanding, and reality, and furthermore, to grasp your situation, to feel empathy (or sympathy) and to relate those feelings and understanding back to you, that is love.  The person is offering a portion of his or her life (heart and mind) back to you in an attitude of acceptance (not necessarily agreement), concern, and caring--that is love.  How easily and readily the opportunity to love others presents itself simply by listening, yes, really listening.

How easy it is to withhold or ignore love simply by hearing--to hear the words and not to feel anything; to repeat back the thought without really pondering its meaning or connecting to it; to say "that's nice" or "I'm sorry" or "have a good day" or any other of numerous platitudes that offer empty words and no relationship.  You can even be related to those who hear you but don't listen to you.  Perhaps a stranger could actually listen and understand better than the parent, child, sibling, or spouse.  If only we could take the time and heart to listen to one another--to understand.  This I believe would foster the love we need and need to share.  Truly, to understood is to be loved.

I think that that is what everyone's life really boils down to ... to be understood.  Julie